February Round-Up

Life - Beyond The Work

Well, February was much kinder to us as a family, than January was (we lost two precious, much loved fur-babies within six days of one another). But February brought with it that strange feeling of being adrift. Of not being moored. Still dealing with the grief that would rear its ugly head at inopportune moments.

Exhibit 1 - Out on a dogwalk and bumping into someone I hadn’t seen for ages and bursting into tears right in front of them - cue, awkward hugging and pats on the back from friend and from a passing, unknown postwoman.

Exhibit 2 Returning to my computer after dealing with a food delivery, only to come back to find the computer had gone into screensaver mode and there was a photo of the two animals we’d lost, looking particularly cute, so I cry again and when husband arrives, lie and tell him that my dry eye condition was just playing up.

I’m not sure what it is that made me lie about it. I mean, grief is normal. We all experience it and there is no right way, or wrong way, to tackle it. You deal with it in your own way. But I fear that because I was raised in a home where my childhood needs were ignored or ridiculed, I very quickly learned as a child, how to console myself and so expecting other people to help me when I’m upset is quite alien to me.

In other news, I learned that my brother is going to get engaged for the third time, after two divorces and so I’ve started calling him Ross (Friends joke) and my mother’s care home had real life penguins go in for a visit, which I missed, because I had prior engagements I had already agreed to. (They got two rockhopper penguins that were very cute.)

My left elbow has caused me a considerable amount of pain from where I lean on it all the time and so I’m trying not to, which is harder than I ever thought and my old chronic illness of hemiplegic migraine reared its ugly head a lot this month, too.

But I’ve made a decision to make everything here on Substack free, but there are paid subs and Founding member subs to anyone who just wants to support me. Paid subs are at £5 per month, which is less than a coffee or a book or magazine these days, so good value, I hope, along with the knowledge that you’re doing a wonderful thing! So thank you to anyone who decides they might like to do that!

Craft - Thoughts on Work

Day-job wise (I write romance for Harlequin) I finished my 41st book with them, which I was pleased with. I need to complete my AFS (Art Fact Sheet) something I’m not a big fan of doing, but it has to be done and then that should be off my desk for a couple weeks until my editor sends me the dreaded revision letter.

Horror writing wise, February was quite the month for me here on Substack. My subscriber count grew and grew and as of writing this, I stand at 87 subs - which I feel to some people may not be all that much, but considering I had NO SUBS at the beginning of this year, is quite the success story!

Every subscriber is a person, a human being, who has caught my notes, or stories and thought - hey I want to read more of that, or - hey, I like this person.

And that matters to me.

All writers hope in some way or another that their work will be noticed and enjoyed. My stories have not been noticed by thousands, (or hundreds, yet!) but that doesn’t matter. For each and every single one of you that has noticed, or enjoyed my work and decided to follow that up with a like or a subscribe or even just a comment, it has been noted and acknowledged and appreciated in ways I can’t properly articulate.

Very often, as writers, it takes so long to get our work out there that we don’t get any feedback. Publishers and agents very often give you nothing but silence and I understand that. They have their own authors and books to take care of - they don’t have time to individually respond to everything that comes through their inbox. So when the work on here gets noticed, that means an awful lot. And I hope to keep filling the dungeon with dark tales and stories to keep your little dark hearts happy.

I’ve published a few of my older pieces this month. It’s almost been a retro month, to be honest, with the exception of My Darling Valentine. I created and wrote that in the run up to Valentine’s Day after having a certain image in my head that I couldn’t get out of my mind of a woman celebrating Valentine’s Day with, shall we say, a captive audience? And it was Frankenstein’ed together from snippets I had of an older story that hadn’t worked out at all, almost like it had been waiting for her to show up. I’m very happy with it and from the feedback - thank you! - it seems that everyone has been enjoying it.

I’m currently working on a new story and hope to have that with you, soon!

The Well (and how I’m filling it!)

Films

• Mama (Horror movie on Netflix) - Not bad, could have been a lot better. Didn’t end the way I expected it to.

TV

• Bridgerton Season 4 (Netflix) I understand that they are going for the Cinderella trope here, but I’m not enjoying it as much as the previous seasons, sadly. Which is incredibly annoying as Benedict Bridgerton has always been my favourite brother and I’d hoped for a much better storyline for him, just as heated as Anthony’s, Daphne’s and Colin’s were.

• ER (Netflix) I had never seen ER when it was first on television and being a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan, I figured this would be the same thing. But it’s very dated and rough and not as polished as Grey’s and I just find most of the episodes to be quite dour and depressing, so I stopped watching after about eight episodes and I probably won’t be back.

Books

• Corpsemouth (John Langan) This was a short story collection by John Langan. The first few stories were really good and I enjoyed them very much.

• Empire of the Vampire (Jay Kristoff) I don’t normally re-read books, but as I have the last two books in the trilogy (Empire of the Damned and Empire of the Dawn) now bought for me, I needed to remember what had happened in the first book and as I remembered it being a rip-roaring read, I decided to ignore my re-reading rule and start from the beginning. I’m about halfway through the first book and it’s still as good as I remember.

Podcasts

• No Write Way (By VE Schwab) This is season 4 of the podcast, where Victoria talks to authors she admires to show that there is no right way to write a book, but many ways. As always, these interviews are fun and different and have introduced me to some authors I haven’t heard of. Victoria is always lovely and I admire her, too, so it’s always a win-win with this podcast.

• Older and Wider (Jenny Eclair and Judith Holder) I’ve been listening to this podcast for years now and I never miss an episode (delivered every Friday) A funny take on life and middle age for woman, with a focus on art and books and culture and this never fails to make me laugh out loud or smile to myself whilst out on the dogwalk listening.

So that’s it for another month. We’re all about to head into March and for those of us in the UK, that means Mother’s Day and maybe the start of our gardens waking up. I’ve sown a few seeds indoors in the last couple of days, so I hope I remember to water them and make them grow (I’m very good at killing plants).

In the meantime, have a great month!

Nic x